All families are built on love--that is true for "blood relatives" as well as blended families. Love is more important than the same last name.
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Blended families refers to a stepfamily household, which means a parent marries a person who is not his or her child's other biological parent. For instance, a mother who has a child marries a man who has another child. This would be considered a blended family. Families such as these can have difficulty adjusting to their new home and family. Always remember that your family is new and it is going to take some time and effort into making your family work. Family Life Specialist, Patricia Papernow, has identified seven stages of stepfamily development which have become widely accepted and utilized by family therapists and theorists world wide. The average family takes four to seven years to move through the blended family cycle.
Like many families, a blended family can go through many family difficulties and may not be a happy family right away. Some common problems would be if the two families come from different backgrounds or they share nothing in common. Other problems consist of children feeling unwanted by the stepparent, or feeling uncomfortable and not belonging with the new family; being torn by tension between both biological parents. Some children feel jealousy with the affection they are seeing their biological parent give to the stepparent. This can lead to the child resenting the stepparent. Remember the seven stages to help you and your family if you are going through this hard time.
♦1 of 2 western marriages end in a divorce.
♦Even 60% of second marriages fail.
♦66% of marriages or couple living together end up failing when children are actively involved.
♦It is predicted that about 50% of children in the United States will see their parents divorce before they turn 18.
♦Over 50% of the families in America are currently involved in a step relationship or blended family.
♦The younger the child is when the blended family occurs the better adjustment they make.
♦Adolescents are most likely to feel resentful or bitter of the stepparent.
The first and foremost rule for blended families is that parents DO NOT disagree with each other in front of the children. When spouses have a conflict -- any conflict -- it should be discussed behind closed doors. It is very tempting to stand up for your own child and point a finger at the stepchild. It is equally tempting to accuse your spouse of unbalanced discipline toward your child. Do not allow yourself to be guilty of the same. "Remember, the children are thrown together with near strangers and suddenly feel they have to vie for their parent's attention. They often feel they are being replaced rather than added.
"Additionally, the children need quality time with their natural parent. If you are the step parent, be understanding about this. Mom, go to your son's ball game while Dad takes his daughter to the movies. This gives the children time to know they are still important and that I am not trying to come between them and their dad. It is also important to combine the group for a family outing -- as a whole family." Parents, don't forget to make time for the two of you without the kids! Plan "date night," for just the two of you once a week. After all, newlyweds need time alone too.
Resource:http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/blended-families.htm
Do not forget that this cycle of building a blended family affects your child. The child first usually go through the feeling of loss and in school they often suffer with participating in the class. The child may act out in class or feel hopeless and unwanted. One way to help this transition for your child is to keep them in the same school system. The student will feel support from their classmates and friends and that can help ease the transition. Always making sure the student(your child) belongs where he or she is will help the transition in your family a lot easier.
As a teacher make sure you understand the different types of families you will be handling in your classroom. If you have a student that is in the process of the blended family cycle make sure you are aware of the stages and be prepared to help with any possible situations that you can.
As the teacher make your students and parents in a blended family feel welcome and connected. Here are some suggestions. Mail report cards, newsletters, and other items to both of the adults in the household. Include both custodial/noncustodial on fieldtrips and school activities. Be aware of the visitation times with the other parent if their is one. If the child has more then one mom or dad then encourage that child to make a card or gift for both of them. Have all the parents included in councils or organizations. Be sensitive to the child whose parents just remarried. Provide peer support groups for the students who are in need of it. Offer any books, articles, or resources that the student and family can use to help them feel more aware and comfortable with the situation. Most importantly make the student feel they are special and that they feel like they belong.
http://priscillasfriends.org/studies/blended.html
http://www.education.com/reference/article/facts-myths-about-blended-families/
http://www.cyberparent.com/step/blendedfamily.htm
http://remarriage.suite101.com/article.cfm/help_for_blended_families
"A blended family might mean some changes, some conflicts, some challenges, and some compromises, but it also means more people to love and more people to love you."
